One of my favorite YouTubers posts video essays in which he analyzes movies. He generally avoids talking politics in his videos but has occasionally dropped a few statements on the matter. He speaks much more to politics and society on his Twitter account. He’s big on equality and is an ally of the LBGTQ+ movement. I’m big on both too, just not as vocal about it online. Last week he proposed to his girlfriend. He did it during Pride Month and I don’t know if that was purposeful or not. He’s hasn’t said anything to that effect; I’m just connecting dots that may or may not exist. With his action, though, my wife and I spent some time thinking about when we got married.
My wife and I were married in our backyard just a few months after buying and moving into our first house. We were previously in an apartment. We had lived there for many years and became good friends with our neighbors. When it was time to tie the knot we knew we wanted it to involve our friends. Our downstairs neighbors were our photographer and make-up artist. Our next door neighbor, Greg, conducted the ceremony. Greg happens to be gay. We wanted him for the job because we like the guy and he has the perfect demeanor for it. The gay thing wasn’t a consideration.
Now that it’s almost nine years later it occurred to us that we had a guest list that ran a good part of the sexual orientation spectrum. The obvious ones were Greg, my wife’s two uncles (they were a couple), and my wife’s longtime hairdresser/personal friend with his husband. Less obvious was my sister. She’s bi and was dating a man at the time, but now identifies as gay because since my wedding she has married a woman. Also less obvious was my wife’s aunt, who identifies as a homo-hating hetero but who also had a long-term relationship with a woman once upon a time. Going down the list, there’s the woman who did a lot of stuff in college including maybe bi stuff (don’t know and don’t care) and the man who did a lot of goth stuff back in the day including maybe some bi stuff (again, don’t know and don’t care). My two pals from the San Francisco bay area were there. I always forget that one of them came out as bi to me while I still lived up there. I’ve only ever known my other pal to date women, but he’s such a major LBGTQ+ ally online that maybe he also goes both ways. Besides my wife and myself that leaves only four other adults. One of them is my mother-in-law: straight. One of them is a childhood friend of me and my sister. Pretty sure she’s straight. The other two adults were my wife’s friend and her plus one. As far as we know, also straight. Doing the math, that’s pretty close to a 50/50 split without even trying. Had we tried we could have had a few more LBGTQ+ to tip the scales and give us our Big Fat Gay Straight Wedding. I feel like we missed an opportunity with that one.